> Withlovees,


♥ Through it all,
Thursday 31 December 2009 15:01
♥ A Note To God...


Today is the ending for 2009... a cup of sadness because i'd been through LOADS of things in 2009 that teached me to be a better person's or make me grow up... and yeah, i'll totally miss 2009 chapter...

The joyful... happiness... sadness.. painess.. backstabbers.. and loads more combined all together to make life more colourful inside eventho sometimes we can't accept things that happened to us... nothings else i hope for 2010 except be a better person or be more mature seems my age will turn 18...

EIGHTEEN..? gosh... finally i'm eighteen... still can't believe it... but yeah nobody getting younger right..? LOL... i'm out of idea what should i write actually... sorry...

Friends and i were fought in a classed... had my SPM this year... went out to JJ by taking public transport for the first time... and month that i'll definitely won't forget is DECEMBER... oh why December..? because i'd ALOT of fun in this month... because after this.. all of them will go back to their University and i'm a little bit of sad actually... no more hang out... and NO MORE karaoke section... :'(

So, for those who had hung out with me especially Inamul and all his friends.. my friends.. people who treated me every time we're hung out together... special THANK YOU i says... wish can meet you guys again in another time... :')

So, GOODBYE 2009 may you rest in peace and WELCOME 2010 that will bright up our life's...


15:01




Wednesday 30 December 2009 21:18
♥ Lolipop...


Hello... Okay no more emo post after this... pinky promise... for now i mean... cause we can't predict what would happen in another chapter in our life's... i'm out of idea what should i write in this post... okay... i'll just write whatever that play in my mind now...

Today do nothing... i mean woke up.. online.. lepak-ed that's all... Oh yeah, i karaoke with Inamul (again) today... syok..syok... :D but we just sang four songs seem both of us don't really pretty excited for that today... then had my idk should i says my lunched or my dinner because i just ate once today... whiled Inamul talked about which lappy should he buy...

My mum had asked for the British Council short-terms class... and the price was very cheaper that you can't even think which is RM780...! o.0 gyler MURAH..! haha... so will tell my dad about it because he allowed me to go there... oh yeah, its only for 3 weeks... so would not be any problems on that plus my mum work at Penang... so it make me more easier... i just only take a bus from Tapak Pesta (near by my mum work place)

Idk what should i write now... so i'll stop typing... oh yeah, if you wanna know how my relationship between me and Wan... we just OKAY and back to normal... about our status..? for now, we just want to be a BFF... liked he said "ade jodoh x kemana.." so yeah, i'm agreed with that.. :)


Tuesday 29 December 2009 22:19
♥ One Post Two Stories..


**Yawn** oh sorry..! i'm just too tired now... i know it still early but hey.. i'd an awesome day today... thanks to Inamul and his friends laa caused maked me happy today eventho i'm not really happy last night... :)

Then what..? oh yeah..! me and Inamul bought a booked for Shima... actually Shima who wanted that book... we just bought it for her... i can't recall that title... but its an Islamic motivation book for people who wanna get marry or had married... we both liked $%#@ haha...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a conversation through via Celcom with me and Wan

"serious i xtau np i kc num u dkt dye... myb sbbmse 2 i pk i xnk msg ngn u then 'myb la' idk i rse myb u need sumone yg juz 4 msg coz all this time pon u msg i juz nk ilangkan borink u jer.. then i pon kc laa num u dkt dye.. i xde niat pon nk m'prlatkan or m'pergunakan sp2 tuk kpntingn sndri ke pe ke.. n about np i said sory 2.. xtually mmg ptut pon.. sbb i tau endup dye jd camni.. ok ngku la i cpt sk owg.. but sk2 je.. n bl jd camni dgn i tau fedbck dr u.. i ngku.. skit sgt rse 2.. tp i nk tye.. hope u xmrh.. i juz nk tau.. i tau bunyi mcm i prsan but nvm la.. u jd cmni sbb kelmahan i kan? u neo wht ryte?yeah psal ____ 2.. n bl u kt i hrpkn sumthng dr u mcm ur ex prnh wt.. i cdey sgt.. sbb i xprnh hrpkn pe2 dr u utk ubah sp dri i.. coz i sdr xde sp lh ubah dr kt selaen kt sndri.. then bl u kt u sk dkt sowng minah ni.. yg u kt alim wear tudung pe 2 kn.. lg i trse..but i wt xtau je.. i tried chill kn u bl dye rjct u.. so dat u xtau pe yg i rse.. tp xpe la.. im ok.. i akn syg u mcm i syg abg2 i.. about luv me towrds u.. i'll let dat feling die.. so bck 2 normal blk k? sory klo i dh wt y kcik aty ke pe.. n klo de pe2 lg u nk tau.. msg i k..? dats all laa kot.. daa.. "

-And this was his feedback-

"klemahan u? i xtau wht is ur weakness. myb i pnh tau. but i erased it from my mind.. btw, i knl u sorng yg xmdah fall in love. tp i slap, my act la puncanya.. i ni hdop hnya mnyusahkn org je.. tp xpe, klau ada jdoh x kemana pun. im believe in God. i pun ada perasaan 2 kt u. tp i ignored it. sb i xmau org yg i syg skt,kecewa. u knw me? u knw how my social life? i got mny frnds. laki. pmpuan. i xnk u jealous smpai mkn aty u.."

It is me..? it looks abnormal... like there are another 'me' inside me... you know like 'Dr.Jackle And Mr Hyde' whatever.. things SETTLE and i'm happy with it... :D


03:33
♥ I'm Sorry...


I doesn't mean want to used you for my own self... i'd no idea why i gave you his number... seriously, i thought nothing whiled i gave you his number... my intention was for good... but maybe its had been misinterpreted... so it looked likes i wanted to used you for my own significance... which was not...

I'm heartbroken now... i don't even denied that... but I'm happy... it's weird right why i felt happy although my heart broken... this is me... i'll not ruin everything just because he said something that I'm sure not any one of us want to hear "but i don't love you more than friends or etc..." ain't it..?

Eventho I'm not really satisfied with that conversation... but at least i'd said something that both of us wanna know... and yeah, i can't talked directed of what i felt to him so i'll text him later after i done my post... because we just talked all craps just now...


That's all for now... go figure this link to know more... zyzypoem.tumblr.com I'm just too tired and time shows 5AM and damn i need some rest... cee-yaa


Monday 28 December 2009 19:29
♥ Take A Look You Idiot







01:04
♥ Holy Fuck...


Idk where should i start... I'm in dilemma with my own feelings... you know... something that can't written by words but the painess make you feel crazy... that's what exactly what i felt now...

When i woke up... i saw Scha miscalled... and i slept back... then i got received messaged... and its him... i was liked... shocked... and he said "smlm i mmpi about u.. we r in love.. but, it can't be.." then i replied said why and he said "bcoz i syg u, lyn u mcm adk i.. sorng abg yg mnusia xkn wt kja bdoh kt adk dia.. abg b'jwa bntng ja snggup.."

What would you think once the person you love the most says like that to you..? it make me wanna screaming off and suicide myself... i know maybe its my fault cause i'd fall in love with him... but i don't asked that feeling to come to me... so, it is still my fault..? sighs...

What should i do know..? can i call or text him and just say what i felt currently..? or i should let the feeling die by it self and pretend like everything was okay... hypocrite to my own self and people around me..? maybe i should try... ain't it..? but I'm too scared if something else happen...

Yes I'm a fool.. the idiotically person ever... caused i never tried of what should i do now eventho i knew... call me a LOSER... cause i deserve that nickname...


Sunday 27 December 2009 15:02
♪♥ Cinta Sempurna...


Aku manusia lemah
Selalu terjatuh
Berbeda aku dari mu
Kau berdiri teguh

Aku serba tiada
Aku kekurangan
Dan bila kau tiba
Aku hilang dari kewujudan

Sempurnanya sifatmu
Tulusnya hatimu
Jujurnya niatmu
Tingginya kesabaranmu

Lepaskanlah diriku
Kerna aku tak mampu tuk menanggung
Sebuah cinta sempurna
Darimu...
Darimu...

Bukan aku tak pernah
Mengerti dirimu
Ku sanjung setiap kata cinta
Kau berikan aku

Hilangkan rasa itu
Akhirkan semua
Dan bila kau sedar
Aku hilang dari kewujudan



00:29
♥ What Next..?


I'm extremely tired..! oh hell..! woke up earlier in a morning...! okay, 10 something liked that... still early okay at least for me..! caused i slept around 4 something yesterday... with eyeball around... urghh..! huduh laa... huhu... :p

I'm supposed hung out myself at KLC... watched a movie and else... BUT...! my mom said "today ada kenduri dekat SP..." i'm screamed and looked at my mom and said "wth... ma, i wanna go out today... " then, she's maked a jerk smiled and said "bangun2... get ready no excuess..."

While at there... saw A.Wan... Qayyum... Eka and ect laa... so yeah, i do had fun there... :) then went to Ariani... lawak gila okay... hahaha...

Had a greated YM today... special thanks to Fiq caused entertained me with all your jokes... and heard my probs too... love you bro... ;) oh yeah, another webbie soon okay...?? haha... the funniest part was he asked me to closed up my teddy and played with it... haha... it's awesome... :D


Mungkin aku pernah juga..Merasakan cinta..Tapi tak pernah..seindah ini.. Mungkin aku juga pernahMerasakan rindu..Tapi tak pernah.. Sedalam ini

Currently, i'm texting with Wan and Inamul... shits..! i'm try to settle it down with him... i know its my fault... sorry... you done nothing to me but the probs was on me... maybe because i'd fall in love with you..? mennn... it can be right..? i understand... i must throw this feeling far away to the sky and don't ever wish it to come back again... i knew it deeply... don't worry okay..? i can bear all this on my own... :')

He's said "i paham kot... as long as im here,breathing..living i sentiasa ada for you okay... don't worry..." you don't get what i mean correctly sayang.. but its okay dear... from now on... i'll accept you as my brother... i'll love you like a sister do... promise... (v)

So, everything will back to normal **may my wished come true** no more you and me... i'm you little sister and you're my brother... full stop... :)



Saturday 26 December 2009 00:30
♥ you make me cry again and again...


He's always bothering my mind... its like, there a shadow following me behind and once i turn back... there's nothing... NOTHING... but you can feel it... and its worst... trust me... sighs.... damn..! why God wanna hurt me so bad..? does He know how much i'm missing you..?

He kept called me since 2 something like that... but i don't answered his phone called... idk why im refused to picked up his called... eventho i miss him badly... i mean.. i miss him like hell..! no doubt... shits..! i start talking nonsense here now..!

And i want to says that "HEY _____, IDOLOVEYOU LIKE HELL... BUT SOMEHOW SORRY CAUSE MAYBE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU... SO I'LL TAKE MY STEPS AWAY FROM YOU... KNOWING YOU WAS THE GREATEST THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE... I WISH YOU KNOW HOW DEEPLY MY LOVE TOWARDS YOU... EVENTHO YOU SAID THAT I'M JUST YOUR LIL SISTER... I'M NOT MIND... LOVE ALWAYS.."

That's all for now fullstop...


Friday 25 December 2009 20:10
♥ Kapitan...


Merry X'mas..! My day was ruined but awesome... you know ruined but awesome... understand..? whatever..! :p its ruined at earlier morning but awesome at the evening... haah.. now i know you got that correctly... :D

Hung out with Luncai and his friend just now...
i haven't seen that men for ages..! like 2 years... its a funniest ever hang out..! hahaha... i kept laughed and laughed non-stop... and they're (other customers) liked "whats going on with that girl's"... hahaha... especially the waiters..! hahaha... mennn.. how come i can stop laughing if they're always make me want to screaming off all the time... :DD

Luncai kept asked me for a girlfriends and imma liked "haha... go find it by yourself bro..!" and he maked an annoying faced..! hahaha.. whadda else... hmmm... owh yeah..! he treated me..! hahaha... owh envy with me guys caused people always treat me... hahaha.. i force them..? for sure naahhh..! okay... i admit... but they willing too... hahaha... :p

So that's all for now... thank you for wasting your time reading this ridiculous post... adioss..!


Thursday 24 December 2009 18:17
♥ something..??


It's been like ages i didn't update my blog..! I'm just fucking lazy too updated... u know, turn on the lappy... waited for a second then clicked Mozilla bla..bla..bla... tak rajin..! hahaha.. :p

I'd watched AVATAR with Inamul,Zul and Zaty..! eventho i'm not a movie lover... i no idea what should i comment about that film's... because i yawned most of the time... xD it's not my faulted okay..! the aircorn was sooo fucking cooled and i almost died because of it... just imagine, your body will still shaking off even after 10 mins you get out from the cinema...! :o Then, lepak-ed at Secret Recipes... had my lasagne there..! ♥

Oh yeah, i worked..! haha... believed me.. even just a day... i mean, a whole day okay... but the experience you get... berbaloi okay...! and now i know how hard to earn for a money... so, for sure i pround with myself...! because most of them said i can't do nothing and all that... and now i proved them wrong..!

Since i'm on leave.. hahaha... sound lame... i know... my routine totally changed..! almost everyday i'll go out hang out with my beloved friends... and the best part is, most of the time my friends treats me..! haha... cool right..? even i don't have any dollars, but i still can enjoy myself... :D some of my friends said i'm just too lucky and some of them said i bully them..! hahaha...

Knowing the truth hurts sometimes... ain't it..? but as a coolest person like *ehem2* me..? hahaha... i'll take it as nothing okay... :) it's your life... but i hoped you won't do the same mistakes like you'd done before... ILOVEYOU damn much... and you know how deeply ILOVEYOU kan..? don't do that again okay... :-*

I need you in my life's now... but somehow i can't... its hurt... i tried not to remember you even for a second... but i can't..! bleached you out from my mind wasn't easy... maybe for you its simple as ABC... but opposite to me... scar in my heart... sighs... idk...

Btw, go to youtube and search Joe Brooks..! my husband... hahaha... owh, i wished..! Joe, marry me please..? xD songs title You Make Me High..


Wednesday 16 December 2009 05:05
♥ life...


Yesterday was an awesome day..! me,Inamul and Zul were hung out together... Inamul treated me (kot) karaoke..! for one hours... hahaha... thanks bro..! otherwise, both of them also treated me for my lunched... hahaha... owh..! heaven (Y) xD

owh yeah..! isn't it hideous went a group see us like we a murderer..! I mean, it's okay if you wanna 'usha' someone that you may know... but if it's too obvious..! girl's kiss my ass and GTH okay..! fuck.. i talked about my junior at school went they saw me with the boys... and they're liked "weyh2.. tu bukan budak convent ke..?"euww... shits laa korang...!

And you know what..? Inamul came to my housed before we went out... he's texted me but seem my phone was on upstairs... then i don't noticed it... and after a couple minutes... i replied... and he said... "sy nk g umah wak leh tak..? sy nk nangeh arr" i was shocked... seriously... then around 2 something he came...

He told me everything... and the most that i can't forget ever in my life was when he meanly cried in front of me... and imma liked... speechless... exactly...! until now... I'm still thinking... how can she do that not only on him... but most of man that i know... and couple with her... i mean, these boys always can't stop thinking on her even for a minute... pftttt..!

Skip then... and after that, went to Dila's housed... we talked till I dropped...! hahaha... :D damn...! i can't stop thinking of lasagne..! yumyum... owh hell..! better I'm off now..! time shown 5.30 AM and I'm still on the line...! so, cee-yaa..!




Monday 14 December 2009 15:54
♥ Random...


I'm at library currently... yeah, online-ing seems my house no wifi... I'd done my exam and right now... i do nothing... i wanted to go out looking for a jobs... but my parents don't allowed... so, i must think what should i do... and i think i got it... :)

I cried a whole day last night... not gonna tell you why cause i prefer make it as my personal matter... and it ruined my life loads..! i can't explain what actually on my mind but it left me a scar... deeply... there's no cure that can cover up the painess...

To be honest.. i do envy with you... caused you took all that suppose be MINE..! you got everything but me..? i got nothing..! can you describe how it feels..? i sure you can't because you're not in my shoes..! and you will never ever know it..!

Sometimes, GOD treated me unjustified... I'd no idea why... but that's what i felt... and yes i know... things happen with a reasons... but tell me GOD... what are the reasons that YOU wanted me to see..?! i can't stands any longer... I'm too tired with this drama that unceasing...

I'm not rude or what other kind of shits that you think i am... but this is what I'm facing now... I'm not mad at GOD but the obstruction was too much for me to deal it by myself... no one's understand it... and you'll not... cause you're not it my shoes...

I walk forward and try not to looking back... but in several times... i can't...




15:34
♥ feel it...


Tadi aku pergi Alor Star jumpa ayah aku... happy laa.. walaupun aku tak cakap dengan dia... but at least dapat jumpa dia pun dah cukup ok untuk aku... sebab bukan senang aku dapat jumpa ayah aku... lepas 8 bulan kot tak jumpa baru hari ni aku dapat tengok ayah aku...

My tears almost droplet when mum said about a picture in my room to my dad... what pics..? gambar-gambar kenangan aku dengan family aku... walaupun semua tu gambar lama... but that's pictures bring me 1001 memories in my life... because that the way when i wake up every morning and see my dad... walaupun that's only pics... but at least i see him... and i know he'll be fine..

I wanted to hugged him... kissed him... but i can't... i can't do that... because i don't him worried about me... i'm not mind if my heart hurts or what... as long as my family didn't know what i felt... the painess and all that kind... because i only want them to see my smile.. my happiness.. i don't them worried about my condition...

I do these because i love them with all my heart... walau aku bukan siapa2 untuk diaorang... tapi aku tak kisah... my feeling towards them is more important so that they can feel my loveness,,,

LOVE
ezany...




Yours truly,
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With love♥


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With Loves,

Elmo
Bunny

Telling you about me doesn't make any difference... if you says i'm a swagger... yes i am... i'm not a double-faced person's... being a hypocrite is not me... i play with my own rules... either you like it or not... there's nothing to do with me... i damnly fucking for those who love to fetch other people's things that not suppose belong to undeserved people... backstabber make me sick... i love be a bitchy girl... believe it or not... i can be a holy terror... yup,i can... i love being myself... and i don't need someone to be my role-model... because i paint my own life with my own colour on it... my style... my games... and it's tremendous... so, kiss me goodbye loser..!


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