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Friday 12 May 2017 20:09
A Lost Heart. ♥
Why you keep on hurting me?
I tried as best I could but it never seems enough for you is it? What else you want from me? I invested my time, my effort, my love and everything I can just for you and as returned? You countinuesly hurting me like I am nothing to you!
I know how dead you are inside
How worthless you feel
I know how you look into the mirror
And hate what you see
I'm done
I've had enough
You wanna know what I'm scared of?
I'm scared of everything
I'm scared to move
I'm scared to breathe
I'm scared to touch you
You made me love you
You made me let you in
And then you freaking die in my arms
It doesn't matter what I do
No matter what I choose
There's nothing I can do about it
If I'm not hurting myself
I'm hurting everyone around me
There's nothing I can do about it
I was so alone
How do you keep going
When the worst thing has happened
What do you have to change
Inside to survive?
Who do you have to become?
Why didn't you do something
You should've done something
You did nothing
One more thing
One more miracle for me
Don't be dead
Thursday 11 May 2017 20:17
You Gave Up. ♥
I said that I loved you
And oh God! I wanted you so bad!
But you gave up on us
I gave up on us?
YES!!
That's great!
You wanna talk truth?
Let's tell the truth.
You gave up on me
Maybe you just didn't care
You said I was great!
You said I could be great!
You said we were destined to be together
You said it to the world
You said it to me
I wish you never had
Because you did not mean any of it
I wanted to apologize Good. Let me finish
I said I wanted to
And then I realised I'm not sorry
And you expect me to be okay with that?
I didn't say you were supposed to be okay with it
I just said I'm not sorry
You know what I really am?
SELFISH
Because I make bad choices that hurt you
Because that's who I am
And I'm not gonna change
And there is no apology in the world
That encompassed all the reasons that I'm wrong for you
Fine.
Then I'm not sorry either
I'm not sorry that I met you
I'm not sorry that knowing you
Has made me question everything
You've been a terrible person
You made all the wrong choices
And of all the choices that I have made
This will prove to be the worst one
But I'm not sorry that I'm in love with you
17:26
ATTENTION ! ♥
'You just want attention. You don't want my heart. Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new'
Funny how things turn upside down. When you open up your heart and learned to love them and they took things for granted. It was a game for them when all you did was gave your best to ensure the relationship works. It's hot and cold in between but again all you want is a working relationship that both parties try to works on it. Not cheated, fuck around, knowing new people.
Question: Why you hurt people you love instead of work on it together? Why there's always one side that will be blame and the other act innocent and put all the blame on the other? That' not how things work, clearly. Let's be real, you don't hurt people you love. Even if you do, you know things that hurt them actually hurts you too because you can feel the pain.
I know love are not only showing off to the whole world. But it depends on the individual I could say. I feel comfortable if people know my existence rather than hiding me as if you are somehow ashamed by having me by your side. Like you want people to know that you are single and not taken so that you can play around. Sad but that's the truth and it hurts when you knowing the truth.
Love is not supposed to be painful or devastating. Love isn't supposed to hurt. You and I, we're messy and complicated. But we're REAL.
Wednesday 3 May 2017 02:31
Supermarket Flowers.. ♥
All the love you spoke when you're on my road walking me home
How's life had been treated you lately? Mine was ups and downs and everything in between.
I decided to finally write a post about you since I think you deserve to be part of my post so that people or I can read about us, about our stories.
Our first met was on 4th July 2015. Quite a number ain't it? We knew each other through WeChat and everything started from there. Our first date was kinda funny 'cause we went to Ferro Futsal and I met literally almost every one of your friends! And I decided called up my friends to joined me since I'm pretty 'shy' if I'm allowed to use that word LOL! And proceed to karaoke like duhh it was first meeting! Hahaha. Back and forced to Bangsar-Subang it was hilarious when I thought about it back.
Fast forward and let's just skip about Shah Alam and Genting Highlands 'cause I bet those memories still lingers in your mind if you remember about it. So during a week before raya puasa things got real! You really want me to become yours. And I said 'tunggu I balik KL then I'll give you my answer..' And fun fact! My car broke down and you can't wait to pick me up at the airport but as usual up 'till now you always late!
27th July 2015 was our official date. I just knew now! Don't blame me since I'm not good with numbers.
To be continue.....
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Yours truly, <
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