> Withlovees,


♥ Through it all,
Friday 21 October 2011 12:42
♥ Sorry For Hurting You..


I hate update my blog with MacBook because of the biggest font

Yesterday I accompanied Mia for her registration along tagged with us was Aisyah.. It sad me up and this utter bullshit make me wanna drop a tears.. Not because I'm angry with her or whatsoever but maybe a bit of jealousy appeared when I thought about myself..

So I settled all her registration by add and drop subject.. Arranged her schedule for this trimester.. Credit transfer for English and Bahasa Kebangsaan A subject.. Handle her PTPTN document that she might needed soon and etc.. And it hurt me more and more because I can't do what she's done yesterday..

Maybe its time for me to think about myself and speak out whatever on my mind.. But I'm afraid as it might be rejected and I'll lost on track again.. I do envy all my brothers' who doesn't really want to study yet got lot of opportunities from my father and they even don't have to make a loan for their studied because my father settled down all their fees..

I still remembered when my dad said to me 'you know how much it cost to study at 'that' place aren't you..?' It completely bust myself down and I lost of word by that time.. At least I make an effort to do PTPTN loan instead asking for my dad the fees.. If you ask me 'are you not satisfied with it' then my answer would be capital yes..

I really hate my current life.. Especially when I can't decide what are the best thing for me when lots of people intervention about my life.. I still remember a sentence 'I fulfill everything you want and never complain about it but why you can't make an effort to be succeed..?' It because I am a loser unlike other people children or my friend's who are smarter than me..

I'm sorry not only to my dad but to my whole family and whoever that know me because disappointed you guys.. I am an entertain minded that like to observe people and whatever in this mother nature have and whatever I do now in life are bullshit and not suit me well.. My mind stuck with all the fucking numbers and my creative minded swept away since past year..

Please and I'm begging you to just let me do whatever I want in my life so that I can choose my own pathway


Wednesday 19 October 2011 17:25
♥ Rain..


Hello and may you in good condition

Well I'm in depressed mood now with no feeling inside.. Just feeling of anger conquer me since last week.. I do not blame anyone because of this but my own self.. Yes I will use STUPID word lots of time in my post today.. So pardon me for that..

I played with fire and as a results it disappointed not only me but a whole people around which increase my fury that want me to kill myself.. I don't blame God because of it.. But I do jealous with people who succeeds yet I congrats 'em for their achievement in life..

Anyhow, I lost my track and I need someone's who can help me find my way back.. It sucks when you are stupid and you can define your own ability about what you can or can't.. I hate myself for being stupid all the time when many people hope for my success but again I crestfallen them and it happen again and again until it become infinity..

I truly at least in my life make people I love cry because I make them happy and not because of frustrate.. I really do I swear to Lord..! But because of my limitation of IQ's I fail to do it over and over again.. Doesn't that show how loser I am..?

They asked me what next.. And silence are the only answer for now.. I funk I mope I angry and I hate my current self for being to stupid in this mother nature world.. Despondency are the only thing I feel now even though I smile and cheer from the outside..

I will never say I'm not okay to whoever that ask me that question now because I don't want them to be worry just because of my loser self.. Even I'm dying inside cause it just waste their time to think about me and my problem..

Somehow, I'm out of idea what should I do now..
Alas




Tuesday 18 October 2011 03:38
♥ A Piece Of Junk..



A heart of ache,
Mind blowing to the sea,
A person who sit alone,
Thinking of nothing..

Melancholy to itself,
How sad life is,
Regrets are wasted,
And nothing seems right..

Take a look around,
They might be happy today,
A bittersweet smile appear,
Make you feel the loser world..

The journey will never stop,
Up and down surrounding us,
That's how life looks like,
Tiring and hopeless..

So I make a move,
Blurring the vision of next,
I'm stuck with time and self,
And tears replace a broken heart..


Saturday 1 October 2011 10:12
♥ Bella Luna My Beautiful Moon..


Hello creature's..

Well I officially end my finals.. It went pretty well I guess and I hope for it to be true.. So, yesterday I was going out with one of my guy friend's.. That's our first hangout since past year back.. Because I met him at PWTC for this one event.. So conclusion I met him there and be friends..

Went to MidValley and for first time in my life hangout I or we just sitting at Carls Jr for like an hours and I mean more than three hours..! We just had a conversation like theres no tomorrow I swear.. We'd been there around 6 until the clock shows past 11..

By that time I'm kinda worried because I may missed my train already.. Cause if I have, I must go to KL Central for ERL.. And then he's offered me for a ride.. And I was like seriously caused KL-Cyber are far far away journey and I'm not a person who will troublesome other people.. But at the end he sent me off to Cyber and I am so thankful to YOU..! To be truth, it make me feel guilty till now sighs..

So, today I'm going back hometown for my 2 weeks holidays..!
Alas beauty people



Yours truly,
<
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With love♥


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With Loves,

Elmo
Bunny

Telling you about me doesn't make any difference... if you says i'm a swagger... yes i am... i'm not a double-faced person's... being a hypocrite is not me... i play with my own rules... either you like it or not... there's nothing to do with me... i damnly fucking for those who love to fetch other people's things that not suppose belong to undeserved people... backstabber make me sick... i love be a bitchy girl... believe it or not... i can be a holy terror... yup,i can... i love being myself... and i don't need someone to be my role-model... because i paint my own life with my own colour on it... my style... my games... and it's tremendous... so, kiss me goodbye loser..!


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