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Wednesday, 19 October 2011 17:25
♥ Rain.. ♥ Hello and may you in good condition Well I'm in depressed mood now with no feeling inside.. Just feeling of anger conquer me since last week.. I do not blame anyone because of this but my own self.. Yes I will use STUPID word lots of time in my post today.. So pardon me for that.. I played with fire and as a results it disappointed not only me but a whole people around which increase my fury that want me to kill myself.. I don't blame God because of it.. But I do jealous with people who succeeds yet I congrats 'em for their achievement in life.. Anyhow, I lost my track and I need someone's who can help me find my way back.. It sucks when you are stupid and you can define your own ability about what you can or can't.. I hate myself for being stupid all the time when many people hope for my success but again I crestfallen them and it happen again and again until it become infinity.. I truly at least in my life make people I love cry because I make them happy and not because of frustrate.. I really do I swear to Lord..! But because of my limitation of IQ's I fail to do it over and over again.. Doesn't that show how loser I am..? They asked me what next.. And silence are the only answer for now.. I funk I mope I angry and I hate my current self for being to stupid in this mother nature world.. Despondency are the only thing I feel now even though I smile and cheer from the outside.. I will never say I'm not okay to whoever that ask me that question now because I don't want them to be worry just because of my loser self.. Even I'm dying inside cause it just waste their time to think about me and my problem.. Somehow, I'm out of idea what should I do now.. Alas |
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