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Friday, 21 October 2011 12:42
♥ Sorry For Hurting You.. ♥ I hate update my blog with MacBook because of the biggest font Yesterday I accompanied Mia for her registration along tagged with us was Aisyah.. It sad me up and this utter bullshit make me wanna drop a tears.. Not because I'm angry with her or whatsoever but maybe a bit of jealousy appeared when I thought about myself.. So I settled all her registration by add and drop subject.. Arranged her schedule for this trimester.. Credit transfer for English and Bahasa Kebangsaan A subject.. Handle her PTPTN document that she might needed soon and etc.. And it hurt me more and more because I can't do what she's done yesterday.. Maybe its time for me to think about myself and speak out whatever on my mind.. But I'm afraid as it might be rejected and I'll lost on track again.. I do envy all my brothers' who doesn't really want to study yet got lot of opportunities from my father and they even don't have to make a loan for their studied because my father settled down all their fees.. I still remembered when my dad said to me 'you know how much it cost to study at 'that' place aren't you..?' It completely bust myself down and I lost of word by that time.. At least I make an effort to do PTPTN loan instead asking for my dad the fees.. If you ask me 'are you not satisfied with it' then my answer would be capital yes.. I really hate my current life.. Especially when I can't decide what are the best thing for me when lots of people intervention about my life.. I still remember a sentence 'I fulfill everything you want and never complain about it but why you can't make an effort to be succeed..?' It because I am a loser unlike other people children or my friend's who are smarter than me.. I'm sorry not only to my dad but to my whole family and whoever that know me because disappointed you guys.. I am an entertain minded that like to observe people and whatever in this mother nature have and whatever I do now in life are bullshit and not suit me well.. My mind stuck with all the fucking numbers and my creative minded swept away since past year.. Please and I'm begging you to just let me do whatever I want in my life so that I can choose my own pathway |
Yours truly, <
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